Today I started back to school. Which, YAY! It's going to be a tough class for me - Algebra - but I will get a tutor, and I will carry on. I started off the morning by arriving to school way to early to find that elusive never-to-be-found, up-close parking space. (I never found it.) I parked nearly a mile away, which as I thought about it, I wasn't as upset about. I mean free, mandatory exercise 4 times a week? Awesome. Not so awesome was the drizzly fog and 36* temps this morning, but that won't be every morning. Soon it will be breezy and cool and perfect for walking a mile before class.
I didn't get a phone call from certain members of my family with whom I expected to receive a call. It is not a requirement that they call me to see how my first day of school went. I am not 7 and starting the ever so important 2nd Grade. I am an adult. A grown woman. A mother of my very own ever so important 2nd Grader. But I want to feel like I am in the front of someones mind on my important days, too. I want to feel like someone was thinking about me that day, and that they knew it was going to be tough on me. I want someone close to me to show concern and love to my feelings and emotions. I don't always want to have to be the one to make the phone call on Holidays and Anniversaries. I want someone to make that call first to me. I want to be thought of as important enough in their busy life, so as to warrant 5 minutes of their time. I want a quick e-mail, or text, that says "Love you. Thinking of you. Good luck."
But I didn't get that.
At least not from my family.
I have found some amazing friends in my life. Some are newer and come from the Army, and some are from long gone days, and they are showing a level of compassion & understanding that I have yet to fully comprehend. I got a great deal of love on Face Book from friends with encouragement and sayings of "I'm proud of you!" and "You'll do great!" and a text that said "YOU CAN DO IT". So... I will make you proud of me, I will do great, and I WILL do it.
All of those reminders of love made me walking into the class easier and less stressful. It still wasn't easy. I still would have loved those calls/texts/emails from family.
The love from today wasn't what I expected. It was so much more.